When I was younger, I used to easily get homesick. I hated staying somewhere else overnight without my parents because I would miss them too much. They left my brother and me with our grandma for a night once, and I couldn’t fall asleep at first because I just wanted them to come back. Over a couple summers, I attended the school in Guatemala my cousins would go to, which was right across the street from my grandma’s house. I started crying during recess one day because I missed my parents. They were right across the street.
Even though I would sometimes really dislike it, I consistently went back to summer camp just because my brother would have gone with or without me. And I just wanted to be in the same vicinity as him.
I was never all that attached to the town where I grew up, but moving away was one of the hardest things I’d done up to that point. I hadn’t expected to, but I ended up really missing my house, my old school, and my former classmates. At the time, my family and I would travel back to that town every couple weekends.
I bring these stories up because I’ve been thinking a lot about “Home” lately. I think it’s something that constantly changes and evolves throughout our lives. Places and people that used to feel like home don’t anymore, while there are new places or people that I’ll instantly feel comfortable with or grow very attached to.
I guess I’ve always considered home to be whatever I find comfortable. I like being around the familiar and sticking to my routine. I like being where I can feel independent. At the same time, I do get restless if I stay in one place doing the same thing for too long. This can get so tricky for me. Because eventually I need to move on to something new and create a new “comfortable” for myself.
Outgrowing places or situations isn’t a bad thing. It’s part of life. If I forever felt okay with being in the same place, I’d have to wonder if I was still growing. There will be some places where I’m only meant to stay for a period of time before moving on.
My family is still my home, but i’ve also grown more independent over the past few years. Now, I don’t cry when I’m away from my parents for a night (or longer). I don’t plan on following my brother whenever he moves. I have my own goals and dreams now, and I want to go wherever they lead me.
There will be moments where I won’t be sure what home is to me. I might feel I’ve outgrown my current situation but still feel unsure about what comes next. But I’ll always have a few friends and family rooting for me, even when I feel unsure. And even better than that, I’ll have God leading the way.